This week has me learning about limitations.
I am happy to say that I rejoined my family in our pursuit to climb Mt. Never-rest, (our laundry). This alone makes me feel like things are starting to resemble normal. Someone put a blue “little tikes” chair in front of the washing machine so I can rest while I (watch it spin or) transfer clothes to the dryer a little at a time. :) Once folded, they are laid neatly in piles to be taken upstairs and put away. In theory this sounds great. However, whether or not they actually make it to the correct closet/drawer or simply wind up on the floor, can be seen if you go into certain rooms… But I guess that is somewhat normal, too.
One of the highlights of my week was the grocery store date I got to go on with my sweet man. He was my own personal shopper, pushing the cart, filling it with whatever I pointed to, and waiting patiently as I flipped through coupons. (I haven’t been shopping in a while & had a lot). Even though he was doing most of the work, (the weight of the cart definitely exceeded my limitations), he would say the feeling of gratitude was mutual. I am certain he would have come up with a clever new slogan for Publix to use instead of “Shopping is a pleasure” if I had sent him in by himself with all the sales going on right now. :)
Upon returning home, I was again reminded of my limitations when I wasn’t allowed to unload the car (Such love). The next thing I heard was “Calling all grocery unloaders!” and two boys came running. My job was simply to rearrange the pantry & refrigerator once everything was put away. :)
I confess I have had moments of pushing the limits and doing more than I probably should. It’s during those tasks that it’s easy to forget that though my mind is willing, my body could use a little more time. I am thankful my energy is returning and realize when it’s gone, It’s gone.
Many of you have asked me time and again about Travis and how he is doing. Even if you talk to him directly it can be hard to get a clear answer from him besides, “Feeling great!” or “Never better!” because he is one of those people who would much rather hear how you are than to talk about himself. He has a gift for asking good questions and in a matter of seconds, can turn the whole conversation around to focus on two things: either you or the Lord. :)
As you probably already guessed, the first year is vital to the kidney’s function and while we are rejoicing that his is doing well thus far (He lost over 20 lbs of fluid in the first few days as his body was getting rid of toxins. His mind is sharper, and he really does feel a difference), we can pray the doctors have wisdom as they adjust his medications and get all his levels where they should be. From my understanding it is pretty complex and takes time, but is an expected part of the process, too.
When I spoke with him earlier, he did mention one thing that we can pray specifically for and that’s the longevity of this kidney. Then he added (not just for his own sake, but for mine).
It was his words echoing in my mind that reminded me once again of my limitations. If it was up to me, I would have this kidney last for the rest of his life. If it was up to him, it would last also, but partially so I wouldn’t have to go through anymore pain and experience the sadness of it not lasting.
However, it’s not up to me.
I am learning not to fear or feel the weight of responsibility to “make things work.” Neither should he. Instead, we can draw near to the One who has everything under His wise and sovereign control.
There is no need to knock on wood or cross our fingers, hoping for the best. God is the giver and sustainer of life. He provides for our needs in His perfect timing and we can trust Him.
So on this four week post transplant update, we do pray Travis’s kidney will last for the long haul. We remember what God has done in making us a match. We marvel at how He is using this story in others’ lives. And we look for reasons to rejoice in our limitations, knowing it is His kindness that leads us to Him. :)